One Week
by howimetneilpatrickharris
Summary: The year is 2022. With the gang's latest addition being born in 2020, Ellie Stinson is more than old enough to take a vacation. Lily thinks it's time for another big moment, and wants the whole gang to go on vacation together, including Robin. (Swarkles based, multi-chapter)
1. Booking

CHARACTERS:

BARNEY STINSON – Aged 46 and single-handedly raising his beautiful baby girl. He hasn't had eyes for any other girl since the day she was born, and he doubts he ever will.

ROBIN SCHERBATSKY – Aged 42 and still working for WNN. She's becoming tired of the travelling and it's starting to take its toll on her, though she'd never let on. Career above all else, end of story.

MARSHALL ERIKSEN – Aged 44 and still wholeheartedly in love with his college sweetheart, doing a fantastic job of raising his three children and still being called Judge Fudge.

LILY ALDRIN – Aged 44 and working on her art as much as possible. Daisy and Rosie are just as interested as Lily is, though their finger paintings aren't quite as refined (or neat) as Lily's art is.

TED MOSBY – Aged 44 and finally content having found his 'one' and raising his two children with her.

TRACY MOSBY – Aged 38 and living a very happy life having disproved her own theory – she won the lottery twice.

ELLIE STINSON – Aged 2, completely in love with her Daddy and still yet to even consider why she doesn't have a mother. She's the love of Barney's life and – like her father – she's far more intelligent than you might expect.

MARVIN ERIKSEN – Aged 10, the eldest of the gang's children and excelling in English above all else at school. Marshall wants him to be a lawyer.

DAISY ERIKSEN – Aged 8, she's Mummy's Little Girl. She wants to do everything her Mum does, and she's doing pretty well with it, too.

ROSIE ERIKSEN – Aged 6, she idolises both her mother and her big sister. She loves to draw, paint, and generally make a mess.

PENNY MOSBY – Aged 7, Penny has become accustomed to her Dad's fun facts about any building he sees. She's started to inherit his idiosyncrasies; spending most of her days building intricately designed houses from Lego with fully landscaped gardens.

LUKE MOSBY – Aged 5, Luke is following in his mother's footsteps and is invested in music. Tracy's ukulele is the perfect size for someone of Luke's age, and Tracy has no problem putting her trust in his ability to look after it.

* * *

CHAPTER 1 – BOOKING

"Lilypad, I seriously don't think this is going to happen…" Marshall told his wife. She was massively invested in her latest idea, and he didn't want to see her get let down again.

"We promised we'd always be there for the big moments. This is a huge moment, Marshmallow. This would be Ellie's first vacation and it would be the first vacation the group ever went on together. It's a big moment, so everybody is contractually obliged to be there." She countered.

"…Lawyered." Marshall surrendered. Lily picked up her phone and sent out a group message.

_To: Barney, Robin, Tracy, Ted_

_Lily: You are contractually obliged to agree to this. Judge Fudge confirmed it. I think we should go on vacation with all the kids?_

Ted and Tracy replied immediately.

_To: Barney, Robin, Tracy, Lily_

_Ted: We both can't wait! Make it soon if you can!_

For Barney and Robin it wasn't quite that simple. When the gang met up now, they'd sit at opposite ends of the room. Barney would keep his eyes fixated on Ellie and Robin would keep her eyes fixated on anything that wasn't Barney. Could they really spend an entire week together? Barney hadn't been as… extrovert since Ellie had been born, and Robin wasn't sure if she'd be able to get the time off work. Barney was the first to reply, having mulled over his options and feeling he was making the right choice.

_To: Robin, Tracy, Ted, Lily_

_Barney: Sounds legendary. Count us in._

Robin sighed. If Barney could do it, she supposed she could too.

_To: Barney, Tracy, Ted, Lily_

_Robin: Absolutely. Let's book it and I'll speak to work as soon as I can._

"I told you it would work!" Lily beamed. Marshall smiled and kissed her forehead as he sat down next to her on the sofa.

* * *

That night, the whole gang had gone to Marshall and Lily's place to book the vacation, having already agreed on Spain. It was full of things for the kids to do and it was as hot as they would have wanted it to be. The problem now was accommodation. While the kids were off playing, the adults were currently grouped around Lily, who sat at a chair in front of her laptop, scrolling through lists of available vacations.

"Should we go for a villa?" Ted suggested, spotting a gorgeous white building that, at first glance, looked like a castle.

"There's nothing for the kids to do if we have a villa. There'd be no entertainment or kids' clubs." Marshall replied. They all nodded. Barney gently swayed as he stood, trying to get Ellie to go to sleep. It was 9 o'clock, and way past her bedtime. Her dirty blonde curls fell over the man's shoulder as she clung to him.

"All inclusive is the easiest way to do it." Barney said, as Ellie's blinking began to slow. He gently kissed the top of her head, reaching over to rub her back.  
"I think that's probably the best idea." Tracy added. Lily nodded and ticked 'all inclusive', filtering out the results on her screen.

"They all look amazing." Robin mused, running her eyes across each complex. They all looked pretty similar, but eventually the group decided on a place to stay.

"So what rooms do we book?" Marshall asked.

"Well you can book twin rooms or family rooms." Lily informed them all.

"What's in a family room?" Tracy asked,

"It depends on if you get a single or a double. You get two bedrooms in both of them, and then in a single you get one bed in the second bedroom and in a double you get two." Lily explained. "Each room is roughly five hundred dollars for the week, regardless of which one you get." She added as she read further down the page.

"A double family room works for us." Ted said.

"Us too, Daisy and Rosie can share a bed." Marshall agreed. The group nodded.

"…What about you guys?" Lily asked, looking at Robin and Barney. For the first time in a very long time, they exchanged a glance. "It's an extra five hundred if you get separate rooms…" She added. Barney hesitated, hoisting Ellie further up on his torso.

"I don't mind if you don't…" Robin finally spoke up, smiling slightly as she said it. He looked at her once more, nodding slowly and yet precisely, reciprocating her smile.

"Sure." He stated. Lily beamed. She'd never say it – she didn't need to – but she was clearly still rooting for them to rekindle their relationship. After the divorce, it was Lily that had spent hours on the phone to Robin while she spent night after night alone, half way across the globe. Simultaneously, it was Lily who'd visit Barney every day just to make sure he was okay, before spending an hour trying to get him to calm down when he cried so much he couldn't speak. Never let it be said that Lily Aldrin couldn't keep a secret.

"Okay…dates." Lily announced. "We can go next week, is that too short notice?"

"Fine by me." Barney said.

"We can do that." Tracy agreed, smiling widely. They all looked to Robin.

"I'll go and call work." The group nodded and diffused around the room as Robin went to find some privacy. Tracy and Ted sat down on the couch, fingers intertwined, as Marshall and Lily sat in chairs at opposite ends of the room. Barney remained standing, whispering soothing words to Ellie as she gripped him tighter.

"Barney, is she okay?" Lily asked, frowning slightly.

"Yeah, she just doesn't want to sleep." He laughed slightly.

"Take her into our room and see if she'll sleep on the bed." Marshall offered. Barney nodded and mumbled a thank you as he made his way out of the room.

"Okay, baby, you gonna go to sleep for Daddy?" He cooed, strolling into the room. He stopped in his tracks when he looked up, his face turning a furious shade of red. This was apparently the room that Robin had chosen to make her phone call in. "Oh… uh, sorry. I was just going to put her down to sleep."

"No, it's okay, go ahead." He nodded and sat down on the bed, lifting Ellie off of his person and laying her down on the mattress. She yawned instantly, and Barney smiled to himself.

"So… did you speak to your boss?" He made an attempt to initiate conversation.

"Yeah, yeah." She smiled. "He said I can take the week off since I haven't had a day off since the start of the year." He reciprocated her smile.

"Awesome."

"Yeah, it is." The room fell silent for a good three minutes before either one spoke.

"Robin?" She turned her head to look at him. "If we have to share a room for a week, we should probably learn to speak to each other normally again." She laughed in vain.

"I know. It's harder than I thought it would be."

"Me, too, but like you said – we broke up before and stayed friends… It's been a long time." She nodded.

"Yeah, we did."

"So we're okay?"

"We're awesome." He laughed and stood up, taking off his suit jacket and draping it over Ellie, before making his exit. Robin turned to look at the sleeping toddler behind her. Every time she looked at Ellie, she saw more and more of Barney. In her clear blue eyes, her blonde curls, her cheeky grin. She'd never seen him happier than when he was holding her, and every now and then it would hit her that the one thing that had made him truly happy was the one thing she could never give him. Robin swiped her fingers under eyes to stop her mascara from smudging, before composing herself and making her way to join her friends again. One week. She could do it.

"Good news!"


	2. Flying Out

Thank you all so much for the reviews, favourites and follows, it means the world to me. In response, it's rated M for the exact reason you think/want it to be, but you'll have to be patient. Regardless, here's chapter 2:

* * *

"Okay do we have everything?" Lily asked, above the noise of six excited children and the remaining five (massively over) excited adults.

"Yes!" They all replied at once.

"Do we have all the kids?"

"Yes!"

"Luke, Penny, Marvin, Daisy, Rosie, Ellie?" In response, Lily was given five yeses, and one positive sounding squeal.

"Great, let's get out of here!" She smiled, closing the door to the minibus and climbing into her seat next to Marshall.

"I can't believe you're not wearing a suit." Ted laughed, looking at Barney, as Tracy swung her legs over his. For once, the man was suited down. He wore a thin white t-shirt that clung to his defined form, paired with grey, elasticated bottom sweatpants and a pair of white converses. It was so phenomenally, extraordinarily unoriginal, and yet Robin couldn't stop staring at him. When the two of them lived under the same roof, Robin loved nothing more than the moments when Barney wasn't wearing a suit. There was something remarkably attractive about seeing a man who was usually dressed to the nines in little more than a t-shirt. Now that she got increasingly less of said moments, she cherished every one of them – from a distance, of course. Robin looked the man up and down, admiring the way that the sleeves of his shirt remained tight against his toned arms, and how she could see no more than a few inches of his lower back as he bent over to retrieve Ellie's discarded blanket. He always was a tease. Robin's trance was broken as Barney began to speak.

"If there is one thing that I have learnt," Barney started, holding up his right index finger to further illustrate his point. "It is that airplane seats and suits are not a good match... Especially when you're trying to sleep and your flight's at four in the morning." He smirked. Robin glanced out of the window, realising that all the flights he'd been on were to and from places that her job had required her to go to, but she didn't make a sound.

* * *

When the group finally arrived at the airport, it was 2:00am. The kids' excitement had more than worn off. In fact, they were all asleep. As the minibus came to a stop, the sudden jolt brought them all back to life.

"Stay awake, kids, we have to check in!" Lily grinned.

"How is she this lively even at this time?" Tracy asked, picking Luke up and placing him on her hip.

"Don't ask. Never ask." Ted replied, putting Penny on top of their suitcases and pushing the trolley forwards. Tracy smiled widely.

* * *

Having checked in, Lily was finally able to relax. Each person had been given boarding passes with their allocated seats indicated on them, and Barney had rapidly deduced that he'd been placed on a row with Robin, with only Ellie between the two of them. While Marshall, Ted and Tracy had taken all the kids to a toy store, he approached Lily, making sure Robin was out of earshot.

"Lil'." He said quietly and yet directly.

"Yes?" She replied, in all (feigned) innocence.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What are you doing? Of all the places we could've sat on the plane, you put us together?"

"Barney, you're sharing a room with her for a week, what difference does the flight make? It makes sense, anyway. There's three seats on a row, two of you and one of her." Lily reasoned. Barney sighed and shook his head. Lily smiled mischievously as he turned away from her. Barney knew exactly what Lily was trying to do, and he also knew there was no way on Earth it was going to work.

* * *

Robin watched Barney intently as they boarded the plane. It only then dawned on her that she was the one person who knew of his phobia of flying – it was usually the reason that he'd stay at home when she went on business trips, sometimes he simply couldn't handle it. Barney was getting increasingly nervous with every passing second, and no matter how much he tried to hide it, Robin could see straight through the act. She took her seat next to Ellie and watched Barney's hands shake as he did up her seatbelt. She wanted more than anything to reach over and hold his hand, to tell him it would be okay, that everything would be fine if he'd just calm down. But, she couldn't. They no longer had the kind of bond where just a few words from one of them could completely change the attitude of the other. Instead, Robin just watched him as he tipped his head back, squeezed his eyes shut and tightly clenched his jaw. As always, he settled down once the orange glow of the seatbelt light had disappeared and turbulence had begun to lessen, but the same couldn't be said for Ellie, who was crying her eyes out.

"I know, baby, I know. Shhh, shh." Barney tried to soothe her as he undid her seat belt and pushed up the armrest that had segregated them. Barney picked her up and held her close to him. Robin smiled to herself as she watched them. Ellie instantly calmed down and buried her face in Barney's chest, rubbing her eyes. "You tired, Ell?" He said quietly, smiling slightly. She only nodded in response. "And this is why we don't book flights at 4am when there are 6 children present." He mumbled. Robin failed to suppress her laugh, earning a sideways glance and a satisfied smile from Barney. It made him undeniably ecstatic to know he could still make her laugh.

With Ellie asleep in his lap, Barney crashed too. By the time he woke up, Robin was asleep next to him, arms folded just under her chest. He took the time to admire her form in its entirety. Even with no make-up, she was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever laid eyes on. He'd always loved the way her eyelashes fanned across her ivory cheeks when her eyes were closed, the way her chocolate brown hair cascaded to her shoulders in loose, untouched curls. Natural was best on her; it always had been. She wore a black tank top that flared towards the bottom with pumps of the same colour, and a pair of dark blue jeans selected for contrast, he assumed. Her shirt was just low cut enough to grab (and hold) his attention, but not so low as to tarnish her sophistication. He cast his eyes further down her body, paying particular attention to the curve of her hips as they met her thighs, her legs crossed right over left, as always. He smiled to himself and he brought his eyes back up, his gaze unintentionally catching Lily's. She raised her eyebrows and smirked as Barney's face reddened rapidly. He cleared his throat as he turned his attention to Ellie.

This was going to be an awfully long week.


	3. Beach

**So this chapter is longer than the others but not by too much. I hope you guys like it and thank you so much for the reviews again. The sexual tension is only going to get worse (or better?), fortunately. So that should be a thing in the next couple of chapters. Either way, enjoy!**

* * *

Robin struggled to slide the keycard into the door of the hotel room, her coordination hindered by carrying Ellie in one arm and a paper takeaway cup in the other. She placed Ellie down onto the plush hotel carpet, and managed then to push the door open. Ellie ran in straight away, heading for her temporary bedroom. When they'd left, Barney had been sound asleep on the sofa, a throw draped loosely over him. When the gang had arrived at the hotel no earlier than 7pm the previous night, it was quickly deduced that the bed in the extra bedroom was far too small for a woman of Robin's height. Barney, being the gentleman he had become, offered the remaining bed to her, demoting himself to the sofa. With Ellie wide-awake when she got up, Robin made an executive decision to take her to breakfast and let Barney get the rest he clearly needed. But now, they had returned.

"Barney, you awake?" Robin called, her voice echoing slightly in the sparsely furnished apartment. She got no response. Stepping further inside, it became clear that Barney was no longer on the sofa.

"Where's Daddy?" Ellie asked her, frowning just as much as she was pouting.

"I don't know, Sweetie." Robin replied, turning around and heading for the bedroom. It was there that she found Barney tangled in the crisp white sheets that she had vacated only an hour beforehand. He laid face down on the mattress in only a pair of black Calvin Kleins, one leg straightened and one bent, holding a pillow excessively close to him. She contemplated letting him sleep for a while longer as she admired his form, before mentally scolding herself for doing so. Instead, she strolled casually and yet purposefully to the window, swiftly drawing back the curtains. Barney lifted his head and turned away, groaning as he regained consciousness. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he turned to look at Robin. He squinted his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, his voice raspy with sleep.

"Morning!" She beamed, head cocked slightly to the side. He smiled sleepily and suppressed a laugh as his head fell back on to the pillow.

"Sorry for stealing your bed," He turned onto his back. "But that sofa is extremely hard…" He lowered his voice an octave. "What up," Robin rolled her eyes. "And I didn't sleep until three. What time is it?" He questioned, stretching his arms and arching his back.

"Ten. You slept through breakfast so I brought you coffee." She replied as he sat up. He gasped and made grabby hands towards the takeaway cup. Robin laughed and held the cup just out of his reach. "Say please."

"Pleeeease." She laughed and relented.

"Black, no sugar, right?" She inquired, raising one eyebrow quizzically as Barney took a sip.

"You remembered." He half smiled, his ice blue eyes softening. She nodded once before Ellie burst in and ran for the bed. Barney gasped playfully. "Good morning, gorgeous." He gushed, placing the coffee between his legs and pulling Ellie onto the bed.

"She had toast and juice, is that okay?" Robin asked searching through her wardrobe.

"Absolutely. Thank you for taking her. Say thank you to Robin, Ell."

"Thank you." Ellie said quietly as she took a seat on Barney's left leg.

"That's okay." Robin smiled, pulling out a black bikini and an oversized t-shirt, a red maple leaf taking up the front of it.

"Bikini?" Barney questioned, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Yeah. We're going to the beach."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Robin sat cross-legged on the still unmade bed - donning her chosen attire - shoving miscellaneous items into a bag to take to the beach. It was then that Barney came into the room, wearing nothing other than a pair of excessively short, blue swimming trunks.

"Uh… Robin?" Robin turned to look at him, noticing a few white smears across his legs and stomach. She only then registered the bottle of sunscreen in his hand. "Can you put some on my back?" He asked apprehensively. Robin hesitated for a few seconds. They were friends again, so why not?

"Um, yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely." She replied. "Here," She smiled, gesturing for him to sit down in front of her. He obeyed silently, sitting on the edge of the bed as she took the bottle from him. She giggled as she read the bottle. Barney turned around and gave her a questioning look.

"What?" He asked.

"SPF fifty?" She smirked in response.

"And?!"

"Barney, I know you're pale, but Jesus Christ." Barney could only laugh and shake his head, turning to face the opposite way again. Robin squeezed a considerable amount of the liquid onto her palm before rubbing her hands together. She hesitated once more before slowly pressing her hands to the man's back, feeling her cheeks flush. Barney flinched in response.

"You okay?" Robin asked.

"Uh-huh. It's cold, sorry." He laughed. Robin reciprocated, replacing her hands onto his back, rubbing in slow but precise circles, and feeling every knot in every muscle.

"You're really tense, Barney." She said quietly, putting some more sunscreen onto her hands.

"Two years, nine months and counting." He mumbled. Robin thought it better not to dwell on the matter, continuing to rub in the lotion. As she moved her hands up to his shoulders, she began to gently massage out the knots, feeling Barney relax as he sighed contently. She thought back to all the times she'd sat and done the same thing before. Whether he'd come home from work, the bar, a family gathering, or an extended family gathering, he seemed to always have the weight of the world on his shoulders. He'd kiss her cheek, mumble a greeting, and sulk in silence for an hour while he watched TV, before going for a long shower. Then, he'd come back to the bedroom, exchange his towel for a pair of pajama pants, and sit on the edge the bed, his head in his hands, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Robin would sit next to him, gently rubbing his back. _"Are you okay?"_ she'd whisper, moving her hand up to his neck. Barney would shake his head, sniffle, and clear his throat. Robin would smile sympathetically and maneuver her body so that Barney was between her legs, before gently massaging his shoulders until he started to yawn. When his blinking slowed down, the two of them would back onto the bed and just cuddle, never telling a single person of it. _"Are you okay now?" _Robin would giggle, and Barney would force a smile and nod as he fell asleep. Robin was brought out of her memories as Barney dropped his head and smiled as she finished up, just as he always would.

"Better?" She asked, already knowing the answer, handing him back the bottle as he stood up. He nodded and thanked her as Ellie ran into the bedroom.

"Hey, baby." Barney smiled, throwing the sunscreen into Robin's bag. Ellie stood at Barney's feet and held her arms out to him. Barney obliged, kissing her cheek as he placed her on his hip.

"Okay, are we ready?" Robin said, more to Ellie than Barney. Ellie nodded and grinned. "Let's get out of here then."

* * *

Barney had spent the entire walk to the beach positioning himself strategically behind Robin (thank God for sunglasses). But, now that they'd arrived, the tables seemed to have turned. With Ellie younger than the other kids, she could never quite keep up with them, and so Barney had opted to get up and keep her company. He walked into the sea with Ellie in his arms, gently lowering her into the water and lifting her back out again when she squealed at the cold, laughing to himself all the while. Robin sat on her sun lounger and smiled to herself as she pushed her sunglasses further up her nose, admiring the definition that seemed to appear in the man's arms every time he lifted his daughter above his head. Barney walked further out into the ocean, keeping Ellie above water but dipping his own head under. Robin rolled her eyes; it was as if he knew she was watching him, he knew she loved his body most when he was wet from a shower. It didn't much help that the weight of the water was pulling his trunks down a little more than he'd intended, not that she was complaining about that. He used his free hand to readjust them before bringing Ellie back over to the rest of the adults, sitting down on a towel on the sand.

"Are you enjoying the beach, Ellie?" Lily asked, swinging her legs over the side of her sun lounger and tickling the girl's stomach. Ellie nodded and giggled as Barney pulled her hair into a pink hair tie. "How about you, Daddy?" Lily added, smirking.

"Not so much." He laughed, wiping a towel over his face before pulling a t-shirt over Ellie's head. He took a seat on the lounger next to Robin's, placing Ellie on the one next to Lily as the other kids returned.

"Do you guys want some lunch?" Tracy asked, as Penny sat down next to her. The collective response was positive, and so Tracy and Ted (with Marvin and Luke in tow – they couldn't sit still for more than seven seconds) went to get sandwiches for the gang… Actual sandwiches. Barney yawned as he reclined on his lounger, earning another scoff from Robin.

"What did I do this time?" He questioned, turning to look at her.

"How are you possibly tired?" She replied.

"I'm nearly fifty!" He countered.

"So are the rest of us!"

"…Fair enough." The pair laughed as Robin took off her sunglasses. It hit her suddenly that they really were nearly fifty. This whole thing that was going on with her and Barney was a now or never deal. As Barney leaned over to drape a towel over Ellie, Robin started to wonder if it was more of a never deal than anything… but that wouldn't stop her looking at his ass.

Having finished lunch, the gang had recommenced their sunbathing, while the kids – bar Ellie – had started building a sandcastle.

"Don't you want to go and play with the others, baby?" Barney asked her quietly as he propped himself up on his elbows. She shook her head. "Why not?" He frowned.

"Scared." She said simply. Lily pushed herself up a little.

"Everything okay?" She questioned.

"She wants to play with them but she's scared." Barney filled in. Lily turned to Marshall. As soon as she realised he was sound asleep, she called Rosie over herself. Rosie dropped her bucket and spade and ran over to them.

"Okay, Rosie. I need you to do me a big favour." Lily started, dragging out the 'i' in 'big'. She gained Rosie's curiousity instantly. "I want you to look after Ellie for me, okay?" Rosie nodded, beaming, before walking over to Ellie and taking her hand. She led her over to the other kids before handing her a spade. Barney smiled.

"Thank you, Lil'." Barney said, as Lily lay back down. "And you." He added, poking Robin's side as he fell back onto his stomach. "I am clearly not the only one who's tired here, and they're younger than me." He told her, gesturing to Marshall and Ted. Robin laughed and pushed his hand off of her lounger, taking just a few seconds too many to let go.

"You're an idiot." She muttered. Barney could do little more than pretend he didn't hear her, closing his eyes and joining the other men.

* * *

"Are you guys ready to head back?" Tracy asked, as Ted and Marshall sat up. Robin looked over to Barney, whose back was halfway to being blood red and whose face was buried in his arms. She reached over, currently unable to sit up, and shook his arm. He opened his eyes and raised his eyebrows.

"We're leaving, you're sunburnt as hell, and can you do my bikini top up please?"

"Sorry?" He replied, sitting up. Robin lowered her voice.

"Your back looks like the top and bottom of a Canadian flag." Barney rolled his eyes.

"That's not what I meant."

"Didn't think so. I gave you a massage this morning, you owe me one." She smirked. "Plus, you never had a problem undoing my bra, I'm sure you can do it back up." Barney laughed and shook his head, reaching over and tying a perfect bow in the black strings.

"Hands of a magician." He teased, wiggling his fingers.

"Yeah. I know." She smirked.


	4. Just Like Old Times

**I feel like I'm taking longer and longer to update this but I'm also writing more for each chapter, so there's that. Anyway, as always thank you immensely for the reviews and faves and follows and I hope you enjoy chapter four.**

* * *

"Hand full of nothing, Scherbatsky." Barney smirked, turning over a two of clubs and a seven of hearts. "I win again, and on a bluff. Turns out I don't have a tell." He added tauntingly. The two of them were currently sat on the double bed in the master bedroom, plastic chips scattered around them. Having bought a packet of souvenir cards and poker chips at a market on the way back from the beach, the pair were so bored while Ellie was napping that they had resorted to blackjack.

"You're cheating." Robin stated flatly.

"How? I can hardly have cards up my sleeves, can I?" He retorted, gesturing to his bare arms.

"You're hiding them somewhere!" She said, folding her arms.

"I'm not wearing anything! Hiding cards is irrelevant to winning on a bluff, anyway." He laughed. Robin relented and smiled. "Are we playing again?" He asked hopefully.

"Uh, I actually have some work emails I have to respond to." She said as she stood up.

"Oh. Okay." He forced a smile and squared the deck, collecting up the plastic chips.

"I'm sorry." She said, watching him deal a solitaire hand. He shook his head.

"No problem."

"What did I say?" She sighed, watching him shift cards from one stack to another.

"You didn't say anything."

"What did I do, then?"

"You didn't do anything, either, I just-" He started. "You know what? Never mind." He smiled.

"What, Barney?" Her impatience was growing.

"It's stupid." He mumbled, pressing his palms into his eyes. "It just felt like old times, and then I realised it really was just like old times." He laughed slightly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She raised her eyebrows.

"We do one thing together and even that gets overtaken by work." He clarified, turning over three cards from the ones in his hand.

"I'm sorry that I have to work, Barney, but I have a job to keep up when I get back." She countered.

"But as of now you're on vacation, so why do you need to respond?"

"The world hasn't just stopped spinning because I've gone to Spain for a week."

"Nobody said it had, but you're telling me you can't even spend thirty minutes playing a card game with me without working?"

"Barney, you know what work is like. If I get an email, I have to reply to it."

"Yeah," He scoffed. "I know what work is like." He finally met her eyes.

"This is fucking ridiculous." Barney just nodded, turning his attention immediately back to his game. "I don't know why you're blowing this out of proportion."

"I'm not blowing anything out of proportion, Robin, it's just kind of funny."

"It's not funny. You're taking this somewhere it doesn't need to go." She said pointedly.

"You don't think this is even a little bit symbolic?" He questioned, fiddling with the cards in his hands.

"_You're_ the one who took the out." Robin told him, folding her arms. Barney laughed, almost maniacally. She stared at him expectantly.

"You were trying to get out of the fucking marriage before we even got into it."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't think I heard you talking to my so-called best friend?" He sniggered. "You don't think I heard you, on the morning of our wedding, telling my best friend that you should be with him?" He stood up and grabbed a white t-shirt, pulling it onto his slight frame. "I mean, I guess I should be happy - it makes a change from him trying to talk you into being with him. Yeah, you tried to talk him into being with you, and on the morning of our _wedding_. Nice move, Scherbatsky. I have been listening to the words 'Ted, I should be with you' on repeat in my head for _nine_ years, Robin. And for what, exactly? A locket? A sign from the universe for the universe's biggest skeptic?"

"Admittedly, that was a mistake, Barney, but do not sit there and take the moral fucking high ground with me, okay? It took you thirty seconds to go from being this – this… this changed man, or something, to some sex freak once again. I mean, perfect month? You fucked thirty one girls in thirty one days in your mid forties and all you've got to show for it is asleep in the next bedroom." Robin pointed to the door to emphasise her point. The anger fell from Barney's face. He pulled on a pair of shoes and made for the door.

"Where are you going?" Barney clenched his jaw, ran his tongue over his top teeth, and then looked Robin dead in the eye.

"Flugelhorn."

* * *

"Cinco euro ochenta centavos, Señor." Barney handed over the money and waited patiently for his change.

"Gracias." He responded, accepting the coins and retrieving the cigarettes and lighter from the counter before making his way out of the store. He shoved the packet into his left pocket and the lighter into his right before starting his walk back to the hotel. He didn't even know if he was going to smoke them, he just needed to know he could. When he made it back to the hotel, he promptly realised that he'd forgotten to take the keycard with him, and so was forced to knock. Robin opened the door with Ellie in her arms.

"Hey, here he is." She cooed, as Ellie reached out for Barney to take her.

"Hi," Barney smiled half-heartedly. "Did you miss me?" Ellie nodded, giggling as she laid her head on Barney's shoulder.

"Finally. Where did you go?" Robin questioned quietly, as Barney stepped into the apartment.

"Doesn't matter. Are we going out for dinner?" Barney asked, intentionally changing the subject as he noticed Robin's wet hair.

"Yeah, in half an hour."

"Can I leave her out here while I shower? I thought she'd be asleep when I got back."

"Sure, but I'd appreciate if you could tell me where you went."

"I just went for a walk, alright? I needed to clear my head." Robin nodded skeptically as Barney let Ellie down onto the sofa. "I won't be long, okay, Ell?" He said softly. Ellie nodded and diverted her attention to the TV.

* * *

Robin looked up at Barney as he made his way out of the bedroom. He wore a pale blue shirt, light grey slacks and black shoes, and she could smell his cologne from across the room. He accidentally caught her gaze as he was rolling up his sleeves. She half smiled as she continued to plait Ellie's hair into two French braids, having apparently already gotten her changed. He reciprocated as he sat down, admiring Robin's outfit as she secured the second hair tie. In contrast to her earlier attire, Robin was now wearing a long sleeved ivory blouse, tucked into a black chiffon skirt that cascaded from her waist to her knees, but strictly no further. Her look was completed with a pair of black strap sandals, and Barney could only hope that she knew how gorgeous she looked. Ellie crawled on to Barney's lap as she thanked Robin, who just smiled in response. Barney closed his eyes and tipped his head back, resting a hand on his stomach. Robin frowned.

"Barney…"

"Mm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Right as rain." Robin rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse from the glass coffee table in front of her. If he wouldn't even talk to her properly, then she had no sympathy for the man.

"The others are probably waiting for us." She told him monotonously. He picked Ellie up and followed her out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"What is the matter with you?" Lily asked Barney. They'd arrived at the restaurant over half an hour ago and Barney hadn't said a word since he sat down. He was sat between Ellie and Lily, with Robin opposite him. Now that Robin had gone to the bathroom, Lily felt it the right time to ask.

"Nothing's the matter with me." He mumbled absently.

"Oh, really?" She taunted, lifting his hands from the table to reveal a pile of shredded napkins and broken toothpicks. "Nothing's the matter?" Barney sighed and pushed the fragments into to corner of the table.

"I'm fine."

"What's going on with you and Robin? You were all over each other at the beach and now you're not even speaking to her."

"We had an argument."

"What? No! About what?!" Lily exclaimed, a little too loudly for Barney to handle at that exact moment. This was not a part of the plan.

"Lil', I really don't want to talk about it." He winced and squeezed his temple between his thumb and forefinger.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Lily. Leave it." Lily shrugged and left him to it. She knew that sometimes Barney needed nothing more than to be left alone – it's the exact reason he'd lived alone for so many years. Lily kept an eye on him for the rest of the night, but he only opened his mouth to order.

* * *

When the group made it back to the hotel, Barney and Robin were still yet to speak to each other. Barney was instead preoccupying himself with getting Ellie ready for bed. He had changed her into a pair of floral pajamas and taken the French braids out of her hair, and she'd cried the whole time. Barney was currently sat on the floor next to the distressed toddler's bed, resting his head on his left arm as he reached over to rub his baby's back with his right. Robin came into the bedroom just in time to catch Barney yawn.

"Barney." She said quietly, though loud enough to startle the man.

"Jesus Christ, you can't sneak up on people like that!" He whispered. Robin pointedly ignored the remark.

"Is she okay?"

"She's overtired."

"So are you, by the looks of it. Does she want this?" She asked, holding up a pink sippy cup full of ice water. Barney looked to Ellie, who was reaching out for the cup. Robin smiled and handed it to her.

"Thanks." Barney mumbled, as Ellie began to calm down.

"I'm going to take a shower and then go to bed, Barney." The man nodded as Robin sighed and vacated the room. It only took a couple more minutes before Ellie was fast asleep, and Barney took that as his cue to leave her for the night, placing the sippy cup on the nightstand and switching off the lights as he left the room. Upon hearing the shower running, Barney made his way into the master bedroom, changing from his semi-formal attire into something far more comfortable and something that made him feel less like he was inhabiting a furnace. He tugged off his dress shirt and replaced it with a dark grey, V-neck t-shirt. He then did the same with his slacks, socks and shoes, opting not to replace them at all. Having suited down, Barney grabbed the cigarettes and lighter from the suitcase he'd hidden them in earlier, and exited the bedroom. He then grabbed a tumbler from a cabinet in the kitchenette and the bottle of Glen McKenna 30 from the hotel's minibar, and made for the balcony, closing the door behind him. He took a seat on a white plastic garden chair, resting his right ankle on his left knee. Barney unscrewed the cap and half filled his glass, downed the whiskey, and then filled it once more, setting the bottle on the table. He then opened the cigarette packet and pulled one out, resting it between his lips and swiftly running his right thumb along the spark wheel, watching intently as the wick caught light. He raised the flame to the end of the cigarette and felt his entire body completely relax as he saw the familiar orange glow, inhaling deeply as he did. He held the smoke for a few seconds, before exhaling precisely in such a way to produce four perfect rings, a skill he'd always been particularly proud of, though he was distinctly aware that he probably shouldn't be. As he took a second drag, he heard the balcony door open, and Robin emerged donning almost the same attire that he was, though her t-shirt was bright purple. She hissed as her bare feet hit the cold tile of the balcony floor, and silently took a seat in the chair that resided on the opposite side of the table to Barney's.

"No lecture on the smoking?" Barney muttered, flicking the base of the cigarette as he held it over an ashtray.

"No lecture on the smoking." She confirmed, taking a sip from his glass. Much to the woman's surprise, she earned no reaction from him. "No lecture on drinking from your glass?" She asked.

"When have I ever worried about sharing a drink with you?" He replied. He was speaking to her, but clearly looking out onto the ocean.

"Can't argue with that." He opened the cigarette packet and held it out to her. She accepted and removed one from the packet, as Barney took another drag of his own. Robin lit her smoke and took a drag, blowing the smoke upwards as she exhaled.

"Do you want to tell me why you went bat-crap crazy on me earlier?" She asked.

"Not really, no."

"Well, can you?" Barney sighed and drummed his fingers lightly on the table.

"I haven't even had the time to consider how I feel about everything that happened between us in a very long time, because I've made sure that I haven't. Today was just a lot for me to handle. It brought back a lot of things I've spent the last six years trying to forget, and then you said about Ellie and I had to get out so I just left. That girl is all I have left in my life. She's everything to me."

"What I said wasn't aimed at Ellie, Barn'. It was aimed at you. I know what I did on our wedding day wasn't exactly a good move but that was just me panicking. I was marrying the man you'd become and to see that man disappear when we fell apart was heartbreaking to me."

"But I didn't disappear."

"Yes you did. It was like you had some serious case of revertigo or something, Barney. The second we divorced you turned back into the guy who walks around New York city running plays on girls that are too naïve to know what you're doing. I cringe every time I heard the words perfect month."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"No I didn't, Robin." For the first time that night, he actually looked at her. "My perfect month?" He sniggered, letting out another bout of smoke. "Never happened."

"What?"

"Think about it for a second or three. You think there's even an ounce of plausibility to the idea that a man in his mid forties was able to get 31 girls to sleep with him?"

"Don't give me that. What about the second Playbook?

"There never was one."

"Yes there was, Barney! Don't lie to me, okay? Everyone knew about it!" Did he think she was some kind of fucking idiot?

"Of course they fucking knew about it, that doesn't mean there was one! You had the easy option when we split up – you went back to work and didn't have to listen to the others chew your ear off, day in day out, with endless questions that I couldn't even answer. In my head, you going back to work was you being who you were before me, so I 'became' who I was before you. I 'became' the sex-depraved animal again. If you don't believe me, go and ask Lily if she ever saw the Playbook, or if she knows the name of even a single girl that I supposedly slept with, Perfect Month or pre-Perfect Month. It was a story that seemed less embarrassing to me than the fact that I didn't use a condom when I fucked the first girl I'd been with since you, and managed to get her pregnant. Jesus Christ, I had to beg Ellie's mum not to abort her." Robin could see the tears forming in Barney's eyes, and hear the change in his voice as he choked out the last sentence.

"Okay, Barney, stop. I get it. I'm sorry."

"So am I. I overreacted." He replied shakily, stubbing out his cigarette and running his hands under his eyes as his tears started to spill over. He uncrossed his legs and lifted up the bottom his t-shirt, pressing it against his eyes as a sob escaped. Robin chewed her bottom lip for a few seconds – she couldn't sit there and watch him fall apart. Robin stood up and moved her chair to the other side of the table. She leaned forward and pulled Barney into her embrace, gently rubbing his back, which seemed a little too warm to be normal. She inhaled his scent, which was currently a mixture of Old Spice, cigarette smoke and Glen McKenna, and she loved every bit of it. She couldn't even begin to count the times she'd fallen asleep in his arms to that exact scent.

"I'm really sorry." He whispered, tightening his grip on her.

"It's okay. It's done. Don't worry." She replied, pecking his cheek and feeling him smile. It was then that she pulled away, taking her seat on her own chair. "Okay, now let's cut the soppy crap and get wasted." She beamed, downing the rest of Barney's drink and lighting another cigarette as she leant back in her chair. She kicked her feet up and rested them on Barney's leg as he lit his own smoke and filled the glass. He handed the glass to Robin and picked up the bottle, holding it out until she touched the glass to it.

"Just like old times, Scherbatsky." He remarked, setting the bottle back on the table and taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Just like old times."

* * *

"Robin?"

"Mm?"

"Don't tell Ted about this."


	5. Piano Man

**I genuinely don't know how long this has taken me to write, but this wasn't the chapter I thought I'd be writing. Thank you for reviews, faves and follows, and yes, this is the M rated chapter**.

* * *

Robin had been laying perfectly still for thirty minutes, being overly cautious not to disturb the man whose chest she had woken up on. She'd scared herself when she woke up, if she was honest. The sunlight from the gap in the curtains had drawn her out of her slumber, but not her bed-buddy. He'd always been a heavy sleeper. It took her a few seconds to realise that the material she was clinging to was not bed linen, but Barney's shirt. She should've jumped up at that realisation, but she saw no reason to wake him when breakfast didn't start for another half an hour. Well, that, and the fact that he was far more comfortable than the hotel mattress. It took another ten minutes before Barney woke up of his own accord, and when he did, he reacted in much the same way as she had. He panicked for a split second, and then relaxed again upon realising that nothing had happened. As Robin felt his torso move, she turned her head to look up at him.

"Morning." She smiled, as Barney opened his eyes. Barney smiled sleepily and ran his hand from Robin's shoulders to the small of her back, smiling smugly as he felt her body tense up. He let his hand continue, his fingers fiddling with the hem of her panties.

"Barney!" Robin exclaimed, as his hand drifted down to squeeze her ass. Barney laughed mischievously as Robin playfully slapped his chest.

"Good morning, Scherbatksy." He chuckled, as Robin – albeit unwillingly – cracked a smile. Robin sat up, immediately regretting her decision as she remembered just how much scotch she had consumed last night. Barney gently massaged his forehead, having much the same realisation as Robin.

"We drank too much last night, didn't we?" Robin asked.

"Uh-huh." Barney agreed. "Do you have any aspirin?" He added, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Yeah, in my purse. Go and get sleeping beauty out of bed and I'll get some painkillers." Robin replied, making her way out of the bedroom with Barney not far behind her. She migrated to the kitchenette, spotting her purse on the table and rummaging through it until she found a familiar white packet. She took four pills out and grabbed a bottle of water from the minibar as Barney walked in, with a haggard looking Ellie in his arms.

"Something tells me she didn't get enough sleep." Barney taunted, smirking as he looked at Robin. Robin smiled sympathetically as Ellie yawned, running her fingers through her blonde curls.

"She looks exhausted." She commented, setting the two pills on her tongue and taking a long sip from the water bottle.

"Too many late nights." Barney clarified, taking the other two pills from Robin's hand and accepting the bottle from her.

* * *

"Will you hurry up?" Robin called to Barney from the doorway of their hotel room.

"What's the rush, Sparkles? You got a mall to go to or a sandcastle to build or something? You know we're not going to the beach, right?" He responded from the bedroom. She could almost hear the smirk that was undoubtedly plastered on his face. Barney met her in the doorway, Ellie in one arm and three towels in the other.

"Not quite. A pool to drown you in, maybe." She retorted, a thoughtful expression overpowering her features. "Let's go, Swarls."

"To the mall?"

"One more and Sparkles becomes Daggers."

* * *

When they finally made it down to the pool, they found that they had been reserved sun loungers between Lily and Tracy, a dynamic that they couldn't really complain about.

"What took you guys so long?" Lily exclaimed, as Barney sat down next to her.

"Barney." Robin explained, earning a light chuckle from Lily and a disapproving look from Barney. Robin met both of those responses with a simple, contented smile, though she was sure to look at Barney.

"Can we go in the pool now?" Marvin questioned Lily.

"Fine. But don't annoy anybody and if it says no diving, what does it mean?"

"Don't let you catch me diving?" Marvin asked. Barney chuckled and gave a nod of agreement, holding his hand out for a high five. Marvin obliged, smiling proudly.

"Marvin."

"No diving." He smirked.

"Good boy." Marvin ran to the pool, immediately ignoring his mother's instructions, with the rest of the kids – bar Ellie – in tow.

"Daddy!" Ellie sounded, as Barney turned to look at her. She pointed behind her.

"You wanna get in the pool?" He questioned. Ellie nodded. "Do I have to come with you?" He teased, retrieving a deflated giraffe shaped swim ring from Robin's bag. He began to inflate it as Ellie watched him as intently as she did impatiently, snatching it from his hands the second it was ready. "Come with us." Barney said, turning to Robin.

"Hell no."

"Please?"

"I don't want to swim."

"So sit on the edge, then." Robin rolled her eyes and stood up, as Barney smiled contently. Barney carried Ellie to the edge of the pool and sat her on the edge, lowering his own body in before pulling the swim ring in. He carefully placed Ellie into the plastic seat, and dragged it down to the deep end of the pool, as Robin made the same journey by foot. As Ellie splashed the chlorinated water onto Barney, Robin took a seat on the edge of the pool, allowing only the lower half of her slender legs to be suspended in the cold medium. The three of them continued to stay congregated together, until Ellie decided she wanted to play with Rosie and Lily, who had climbed in to keep her daughter company as the others initiated a diving contest. Slap bet commissioners have no power in hotel pools. Barney had migrated to the shallow end of the pool, so that he could leave Ellie in the responsible hands of Lily, leaving Robin alone. Barney looked from his end of the pool to hers, a devilish grin spreading across his face. Noting that the brunette was paying little attention to anything but the ripples her feet were creating in the water, Barney dived under, swimming quickly and indefinitely to the other end of the pool. He struggled to open his eyes, the chemicals in the water burning them immediately, but ignored the pain as he spotted Robin's legs. He wrapped his hands around her narrow ankles, pulling directly downwards and sending Robin plummeting into the water. In sheer panic, Robin instinctively grabbed onto Barney as the pair of them drifted back up to the surface. She wrapped her legs around the man's diminutive waist, and her arms around his broad shoulders as Barney rested his arm on the side of the pool. She leant her forehead on his shoulder, coughing to clear her lungs of the water she'd unintentionally aspirated. Barney affectionately rubbed her back, though simultaneously suppressing a laugh.

"It's not funny, Barney." Robin muttered, pushing her perfectly manicured fingernails into his back as her breathing steadied out, but still refusing to lift her head.

"It's a little bit funny." He replied.

"No, it's not." She replied, a certain harshness seeping into her voice as she released her hold on him, lifting herself out of the pool and grabbing the towel she'd be sitting on. She wiped her face and draped the towel over her shoulders before walking quickly away from the pool, grabbing her bag from the sunbed on the way. Barney didn't hesitate to jump out of the pool and follow her, but her speed was too much for him to keep up with. By the time he reached the hotel room, the door was already closed. He knocked twice, earning no response.

"Robin, open the door." Barney called, his fist striking the door again. A click sounded, and the door opened to reveal a more than pissed-off Robin, the towel still firmly around her shoulders.

"What the fuck do you want?" She demanded, starting to walk away from the door and into the apartment.

"I'm sorry." Barney said simply, taking her wrist in his hand to stop her from retreating as he closed the door behind him.

"Save it." She replied, trying – though admittedly not very hard, to get him to let go. Barney gently tugged her arm, pulling the woman back into his embrace.

"I'm sorry, Sparkles." He stated sincerely, slipping his arms around her neck as the towel fell to the floor. Her body relaxed. "It was just a joke."

"It wasn't funny."

"I know, I'm sorry." He said, gripping her tighter and rubbing her back before pulling away a few inches. His eyes met Robin's as his hands drifted, as if involuntarily, to her neck. Their eyes stayed open as their lips moved closer together. That was, until their lips met, and their eyes closed instantaneously. The pair smiled into the kiss, physically unable to keep their hands off each other – an overwhelming sensation that came as no surprise to them.

"Barney." Robin sounded breathlessly.

"Mm?" Barney moaned between kisses.

"Are we really about to do this?" She questioned. Barney simply nodded as the pair drifted towards the master bedroom, slamming the door behind them. They finally broke the kiss as Robin moved to the other side of the room. Barney haphazardly tugged off his swimming trunks and grabbed a condom from the same place he'd hidden his cigarettes in. She hurtled back to him, pushing him onto down onto the bed and feeling his lips, cold against her neck. She moaned softly as Barney undid her bikini top, discarding it on the floor as Robin turned her head, her tongue slipping back into Barney's mouth. She felt his hands move further down her petite frame, his fingers fumbling with the thin material of her only remaining article of clothing. Robin removed her hands from Barney's hair, slipping off her bikini bottom simply to save him the trouble – they didn't have the time for him to not be able to get her underwear off. Hands of a magician, my ass. Barney released his clasp on her hips, letting his right hand travel between her legs. His index and middle fingers brushed lightly and repeatedly against her clit. Robin rhythmically moved her hips, grinding on him as his dick hardened beneath her. She grabbed the condom packet from next to him and tore it open with her teeth, sliding it onto his cock as she moaned softly and released a bout of moisture. She maneuvered her body, allowing Barney entrance as he thrust his dick inside her. She was determined to show him what he'd been missing, and so refused to let him take control. She pushed herself up, her hands pressed against his chest as a devilish smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth. Barney surrendered, his arms – unlike other parts of his body – falling limp against the bed as he gripped the sheets. Robin vacillated against him, moving precisely and at an ever-quickening pace. She saw Barney's chest heave upwards, his back arching, and she began to slow down. His eyes burst open.

"Ro-bin." He whined desperately, grabbing her hips as if trying to force them to move.

"Beg for it." She whispered, her hands running from his chest to his waist.

"Pl-please." He responded instantly.

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Her hips accelerated once more. She watched intently as his eyes slipped shut and his mouth fell open, a loud and uncontrollable string of satisfied moans escaping him. She continued to increase her speed, until Barney's back arched once more, his hands balling into fists against the crisp white sheets of the bed as he came inside her. She finally stopped, as Barney lay helpless and breathless on the bed. A smile spread on his face as he turned Robin on her back. He wasn't the only one who'd been missing out, and _God_ was Robin about to know it. He put his dick back inside her, thrusting repeatedly as he caressed her perky breast with one hand and rubbed her clit with the other. Robin moaned loudly, a habit she'd never been able to shake. When she lost her control over her body, her voice wasn't far behind.

"Hands," He started, sucking on the skin of her chest. "Of a magician." He finished, as she dug her fingernails into his back.

"Shu-ut up." She breathed, laying one hand on the back of his head and wrapping her legs around his waist. His thrusts became less precise as they got closer together, a smile spreading across his flushed face as he felt – and heard – Robin surrendering to him. He didn't say a word, just continued the same thrusting and rubbing until her legs and arms tightened around him, a compilation of loud, drawn out, and passionate syllables slipping from her lips. Barney felt her grip loosen entirely, and fell down onto the bed next to her, the pair of them both completely breathless.

"Did you give me a fucking hickey?"

"Maybe."

"Jesus Christ, Barney."

"Robin?"

"Mm?"

"It was really funny."

* * *

"Oh my God can we eat here?!" Barney begged. The gang was walking along a seemingly endless string of restaurants, each looking more average than the last.

"What? Why?" Marshall asked. Barney frantically pointed to a sign outside the bar named O'Reilly's, indicating that a Billy Joel impersonator would be performing in the restaurant that night.

"Billy Joel? Really? _Barney Stinson _likes Billy Joel?" Lily laughed.

"I freakin' love Billy Joel. Ted. If time travel ever becomes possible, what song are me, you, and our future selves going to perform together as an acapella group?" Ted sighed.

"For the longest time." He admitted.

"And who is that song by?"

"Billy Joel." Tracy clarified.

"Thank you." And so it was decided, that night, the gang would eat in an Irish bar in Spain in which a Billy Joel impersonator would perform. They wouldn't expect it, but it would probably be the best night they had.

* * *

_"__Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Joel!"_ A voice came over a set of – remarkably outdated- speakers, as a man in a brown suit sauntered onto the stage that had been previously occupied by a few random men in sunglasses situated behind instruments. The crowed roared at the realisation of just how much this guy looked like the man he would act as. Barney put the tips of his pinkies into his mouth, whistling as the rest of the gang applauded. They were sat against a wall, with Barney and Robin closest to the stage (and the dance floor). Since the crowd was already in a fully inebriated state, the man on stage launched straight into _We Didn't Start The Fire_, earning a perfect recital from the majority of the audience.

As the night went on, the crowd became gradually more entranced with the performer. He had just finished _Piano Man_, which the crowd had loved every second of (Barney had nearly knocked a couple of people out as he thrust his glass into the air, passionately screaming _"HE SAID SON CAN YOU PLAY ME A MEMORY, I'M NOT REALLY SURE HOW IT GOES"_) and next up was _Uptown Girl_. Since every other person seemed to migrate to the dance floor, the adults of the gang did the same. By now, they could trust Marvin, Daisy and Penny to keep an eye on the younger ones, providing there was no more than a thirty foot gap between them and their parents. Once more, Barney provided a word-perfect performance, and Ted wasn't far off either, the pair of them paying particular attention to the "_fi-yi-yi-ine"_s and suchlike.

"Okay, last one, folks. This one's a slow one, so fellas grab a girl." 'Billy' spoke. In response, Marshall and Ted each pulled Lily and Tracy close to them, respectively. Robin hesitated and went to sit down, but Barney stopped her, throwing his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him. She smiled and slipped her arms around his neck, smiling as Lily pulled a face that in a word, meant something between 'aw!' and 'WOOOOO!'. Not wanting to break the habit of a… nighttime, Barney sang every word again, though much more softly and evidently to only one person this time. Robin treasured every word, but the last verse resonated with her.

"_She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel. She can do as she pleases; she's nobody's fool. She can't be convicted; she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me."_


	6. Easy Mistake

**A shorter chapter because I was having trouble thinking of what to write and I literally have no time right now. I have to go and pack for a holiday I'm going on in like four hours. Anyway, enjoyyyyy**

* * *

The next morning, Robin awoke once more to a scent that had become all too familiar to her now. _Barney._ She smiled to herself, stretching her muscles as much as she could with Barney sound asleep on her shoulder. She gently rested a hand on the back of his head as she reached over to grab her phone, doing her best not to wake him. She quickly realised that this was a precaution that she probably needn't bother with. He'd always been a heavy sleeper, particularly when he'd had a little bit too much to drink the previous night. Still, she was cautious and slow in her movements, feeling Barney's grip on her waist tighten in the slightest and most precise way. A feeling of safety and protection from her unconscious ex-husband was something Robin couldn't quite wrap her head around, and she certainly couldn't comprehend why she_ liked _the feeling so much. Still, she responded by tangling her fingers into his hair, irrespective of the immense amount of product that remained in it. Her other hand was occupied by switching between social networking apps, checking all of her messages and double taking at one email, subject line: Promotion, sender: darrelgray , better known as the CEO of World Wide News. Her heart practically stopped beating, but before she could open the email, Ellie burst into the bedroom. She immediately locked her phone and discarded it within the sheets, a smile creeping up on her as Ellie's eyes lit up at the sight of her Daddy. Robin carefully pushed herself up in the bed, so that Barney now rested on her stomach. She reached over and lifted Ellie up onto the bed and placing the toddler onto the sheets. Ellie immediately reached over to stroke the side of Barney's cheek, before looking up at Robin.

"Shhhhh. Daddy sleeping." She whispered. Robin suppressed a giggle.

"Yeah, Daddy's sleeping, Ell'." She confirmed, pushing the hair out of the girl's face. "You hungry?" She asked. Ellie nodded in agreement, rubbing her belly. Robin laughed; regretting is as she saw her stomach moving. She rested a hand on the back of Barney's head once more, gently toying with "When Daddy wakes up we'll go and get you some food, yeah?" Robin offered, wrapping an arm around Ellie as she crawled up to her. Ellie nodded once more, smiling widely. Robin checked the time on her phone, and saw that it was 7:40. She'd have to wake him up soon, or they wouldn't be down in time for breakfast. She gave him another ten minutes, before letting Ellie jump up and down on the bed. Barney's face was drawn into a frown as he was dragged from his slumber. He turned his head to bury his face in Robin's shirt, as she felt his fingers tighten on her waist once more. He emitted a groan as he pushed himself up in the bed, until he was at the same angle as Robin. Robin looked over to him as Ellie crawled across her lap and onto her dad's.

"Good morning." She laughed, as Ellie climbed up Barney's torso. Barney looked at his daughter, and then at Robin.

"Yeah, it is. Morning, Scherbatsky." He smiled as a yawn escaped.

"Hate to break it to you, but we have to get up." She told him, slipping out of the bed and tugging on a pair of shorts under her shirt.

"I don't want to get up." He pouted.

"Daddy!" Ellie scolded.

"What, baby?"

"Food." She said simply. Barney laughed and wrapped his arms around her, planting a kiss on her forehead as he too climbed out of the bed. Barney hesitated, unsure whether to dress himself or Ellie first. Robin watched intently, and solved his problems for him.

"Here," she offered, extending her arms to Ellie, who reciprocated immediately. "I'll get her ready." She said, exiting the room. Barney stood in shock for a second. The woman who had endlessly passed off Marvin to anybody she could had specifically offered – wholeheartedly – to dress his daughter. He smiled to himself as he turned to face the mirror, restyling his hair.

* * *

At breakfast, there was less of an elephant in the room and more of a whole herd of them as Lily watched Barney and Robin from across the table. She couldn't even begin to hide her smile when Barney reclined and rested his hand on the back of Robin's chair, or when Robin didn't even ask before taking a sip out of Barney's glass of water. Lily was brought back to reality as Marshall called to Barney across the table.

"Ted and I are going to a sports bar for lunch. Do you want to come with us?" He offered.

"I do, but I don't think I can." He laughed, as Ellie reached out to him. Robin turned to look at him, seeing the disappointed looks on the faces of all the men.

"Yes you can." She said simply, accompanied by a half smile. It took Barney a few seconds to decipher what Robin was implying, and when he did he immediately shook his head to the negative.

"No, I can't."

"Yeah, you absolutely can." She laughed, taking another sip from his glass. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Apparently I can." He laughed, his actions reciprocated by both Ted and Marshall.

* * *

By midday, the entire gang was sprawled out on sun loungers by the hotel pool, and the men were getting a little more than restless.

"Hey, Barney," Marshall started, calling across both Lily and Robin.

"Mm?" Barney responded, turning to face him.

"If I give you fifty dollars, will you drink this bottle of sunscreen?"

"Oh my God, will you just go to the freaking bar already?!" Lily begged. "And no you will not, by the way." She scolded, an accusatory finger pointed at Barney. He raised his hands in surrender.

"Come on, let's go before we get disowned." Ted laughed, standing up and pulling on a t-shirt.

"I wanna go!" Marvin exclaimed, frowning as he sat bolt upright on his lounger.

"If he goes, I'm going." Luke added. The older men exchanged glances between themselves, and then with Tracy and Lily.

"Fine. Go on." Tracy relented. Luke and Marvin jumped up immediately and followed the men they had followed all their lives.

* * *

With all the men gone, the girls could finally relax and have some alone time, and they'd opted to go… absolutely nowhere. They had spent hours relaxing and chatting by the pool, as well as in it when they felt like it. Ellie had been far quieter than Robin was accustomed to experiencing, but she seemed to be quietly observing everything around her. She stared at Lily, Rosie and Daisy, and then at Tracy and Penny, before sneaking a glance at Robin. Robin frowned and extended an arm to Ellie's sun lounger, gently tickling the toddler's stomach and earning no reaction.

"You okay?" Robin asked quietly, so as not to draw any attention. Ellie shrugged dismissively and looked up at Robin, her best pout on display. Robin couldn't help but notice that she'd evidently gotten that from her dad. Robin immediately sat up and slid on her Canadian flag t-shirt once more. She stood up and stepped into a pair of flip-flops, before lifting Ellie from the sun lounger and placing her onto her hip.

"Where are you going?" Lily questioned, her face radiating confusion.

"Just for a walk." Robin said, shrugging lightly. Lily nodded, biting her lip to prevent a smile from breaking out as Robin headed for the hotel gate. She was more than determined to make Ellie smile, though she had no idea what was wrong with her. She found herself wishing that Ellie could speak properly, though concluded that – if she was anything like her father – she wouldn't tell anybody what was wrong anyway. Robin took Ellie into every local shop that she could, buying her two new toys and a dress and still earning little more than a smile from the girl. On the way back to the hotel, Ellie had worn herself out from walking in front of Robin instead of being carried by her. Deciding that she was too tired to keep walking, she stopped and looked to Robin, who was looking ahead and not down. Only one word slipped from Ellie's mouth.

"Mommy," She sounded. Robin's head snapped down almost instinctively.

"What's wrong, babe?" She replied, crouching down. Ellie wrapped her arms around Robin's neck, earning a light giggle and a sympathetic sigh from the woman. "Tired?" Ellie nodded. It was only then that Robin realised what Ellie had called her. She could handle that. It was to be expected. She'd been sat around a pool all day with little girls calling women "mommy". What wasn't to be expected was the fact that Robin had responded so naturally to being called "mommy". The feeling was too much for her. She pressed her teeth into her bottom lip, willing herself not to cry as she practically sprinted back to the hotel. She held Ellie close against her. In the event that she did cry, she sure as shit wasn't going to let Ellie see it happen. Robin made her way up to the room, using the stairs as opposed to the elevator as she had deemed it too slow. She approached the door and slid in the keycard, praying that Barney would be in the apartment. She checked the living room first, and then the bedroom. Relief coursed through her as she saw Barney lying half asleep on the king-sized bed.

"Hey," He greeted absently, half smiling as he pulled the covers closer to him. Robin stayed silent. She pulled back the covers, set Ellie down on the sheets, and pulled them back up. Ellie cuddled into Barney as he slipped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"She'll, uh… She'll go to sleep. She's tired." Robin spoke, wiping her fingers under her eyes. Barney frowned, it only then dawning on him that Robin was crying. He was suddenly more awake than ever.

"What's the matter?" He said instantly, panic flooding his tone.

"Nothing, I have to go." She responded, sniffling and grabbing a ten-euro note from the dresser.

"Robin?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." She left the bedroom, and then the apartment, as the door slammed behind her. As if she didn't have enough to deal with.


	7. Heads or Tails

**I am genuinely so sorry for how long this has taken. I don't know how it's been a month and I don't know what I've been doing for a month to be quiet honest, but I hope this is good enough to make up for the delay! Enjoyyyy!**

* * *

Robin stuffed the ten-euro note into her bikini top and wiped her hands over her face, mentally scolding herself for letting her feelings get the better of her again. It was inexcusable behaviour in her mind, and it was behaviour that seemed to be a regular occurrence in recent times. She quickly made her way out of the hotel and into the nearest bar, being careful to avoid walking by the pool. She didn't need Lily to catch her in this state. Robin took a seat on one of the bar stools, fiddling with a coaster as she waited for her order to be taken. She ordered a familiar scotch on the rocks, and all without looking up from the coaster. When the drink was placed in front of her, she mumbled a quick thank you before taking a swift gulp, and cherishing the sensation in her throat as she swallowed the rich liquid.

"Are you okay?" A blonde woman, with a comforting Irish accent, asked from the other side of the bar as she swiped a damp dishcloth along the varnished wood.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." Robin replied, dropping her phone onto the bar, having retrieved it from the same place that she had placed her money. She sniffled and looked up for the first time since she'd sat down.

"Are you sure? Because, I mean, I'm a bartender. I'm pretty much qualified in knowing when people aren't okay." Robin laughed a little and sighed.

"It's been a tough day." She clarified cautiously, swallowing the rest of her scotch.

"Can I get you another?" The bartender asked, to which Robin nodded and wiped her mouth. The bartender swiftly drained the remainder of a bottle of Glen McKenna into Robin's tumbler, before dumping the bottle behind her. "On the house. You look like you need it." She added, sliding the glass further towards Robin. "Name's Connie. Call me over if you need anything else." She smiled fondly and left Robin to it. Robin unlocked her phone and opened up her emails once more. She hesitated for a moment, her thumb hovering over the email that she couldn't open earlier on. The difference was, there was a reason she couldn't open it earlier. Now, it was just her own fear that was preventing her. She took a deep breath and pushed down on the email, waiting (im)patiently as her poor internet connection took a lifetime to load the page. Her heartbeat went through the roof as her eyes skimmed the text.

_Sender: _

_To: _

_Robin, _

_I know you're on vacation, but a position has opened up as a lead anchor on the 6 o'clock broadcast, since Jason has had to leave for personal reasons. Your name and three others were put forward to me, and the team and I have decided that you're the best choice by far. Don't tell anyone that, it's a secret. You have a couple of days to decide, but make it quick if you can. You don't have to take it, but I recommend you do. I'm sending you more information on the contract, salary, hours, etc. Get back to me when you can._

_Enjoy the rest of your time off._

_Darrel._

She read the email four times over before letting herself believe that what she was reading was true. Things like this didn't happen to her anymore, and now everything was happening at once. It was more than she could handle at one time. She'd taken a vacation to get away from everything, but everything seemed to be creeping back up on her after only three days, and with a vengeance at that. She wanted to scream as loudly as she possibly could. She wanted to talk to somebody, and she couldn't. She couldn't talk to Barney about how she felt about him, because how she felt about him was irrational. She knew she was just craving the past, before everything had gone wrong. She couldn't talk to Lily, because Lily would talk to Marshall, Marshall would talk to Ted, and Ted would talk to Tracy. With all of them in on her little secrets, it was an inevitability that Barney wouldn't be far behind them. And yet, she still wanted to scream it all out. She instead clenched her jaw tightly, and asked Connie for another scotch before downing the one in front of her. Connie frowned and instead poured her a coke. Robin raised her eyebrows quizzically.

"Trust me. You'll thank me for that. If you need to talk about whatever you just read on your phone, then I don't have anybody to tell." She elaborated. Robin's jaw practically hit the bar. "I told you. I'm qualified in knowing when people aren't okay."

"You weren't kidding, eh?" Robin laughed lightly.

* * *

Having relayed her troubles to Connie, Robin felt a little better about them, though she remained lost on a conclusion. Connie had advised her to follow her heart, but Robin had always listened to her head. It was an endless war in her mind, but each battle seemed to have the same victor. Having read through the second email from Darren, Robin returned to the hotel, spending the whole journey consciously reminding herself to stay calm. She noticed little more on her return that the dropping temperature, and promptly ignored it. After grabbing an extra keycard from the hotel reception, she remained collected as she made her way quietly back into the apartment and into the bedroom. There, she saw Ellie sound asleep in the centre of the bed, and tucked up in a fluffy pink blanket. Robin smiled to herself and moved to the kitchenette, spotting Barney in the same sweatpants he'd flown out in and nothing else, looking a little more than disheveled and stirring a black coffee. She stood next to him, reaching up to grab another mug as Barney absently ran his free hand through his hair.

"Hey." She mumbled.

"Hey. Where'd you go?" He asked, resting a hand on the small of her back as he reached across her, and dropped the spoon into the sink.

"I just went for a walk." She said; her words accompanied by a dismissive gesture. Barney nodded skeptically, frowning slightly. He could feel the tenseness of her entire body, just from one touch. Her posture was too rigid. Barney slowly moved his hand up and down, in a gentle rubbing motion.

"Everything okay?" He said quietly, as Robin shifted closer to him.

"Yeah." She replied. She hesitated, with a certain degree of shyness, before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He wanted to know everything there was to know, but after how he had behaved two days previously, he didn't feel like he should push his luck. Instead, he nodded and tightened his grip on her waist, remembering just how alike they really were. Their arms lingered, unmoving for longer than either of them would care to admit, until Barney sighed and unwillingly pulled away. He couldn't ignore the fact she only hugged him in quite that way when everything was explicitly NOT okay.

"Come on. Let's sit down." He suggested. Robin obliged, as Barney put the mug of coffee he'd made for himself in front of Robin, and poured out another. He sat down opposite her, and opened his mouth to speak, before Robin interrupted him.

"Listen, Barney. I know you're worried but I really don't want to talk about this right now." She told him.

"…I didn't ask you to." He smirked. Robin reciprocated, sipping on her coffee.

"Ellie's still asleep, huh?" She mused aloud, making an effort to strike up some kind of gap-filling small talk.

"Yeah." He laughed. "She needs her sleep or she'll just be cranky." He explained.

"How was the bar?"

"Yeah, really good." Barney half smiled, now looking up at her.

"You were back here pretty early." Robin frowned, pulling her hand back and taking another sip from the ceramic mug.

"Yeah, I know. I wanted to lie down without being in the sun. You know I can't handle it. Plus, my back is killing me after sitting up for all of that flight." He stated, and then regretted it. Ever since his accident with the bus, Barney's back had been a little more than temperamental – yet another contributing factor as to why he'd stay at home when Robin was flying around the globe. When he did go with her, he'd wind up having to lie in Robin's lap, or pace up and down the plane. Though, he didn't exactly complain when the former was to occur. He saw it as another couple's thing that they'd pretend they didn't do. Robin stayed silent for a split second, before deciding to look past the reminder of their marriage.

"Yeah." She responded, opting to remain entirely ignorant to certain parts of his statement. "I'm surprised you lasted this long. Normally one day is too much for you." Barney nodded, laughing half in amusement and half in relief. "So where are we going tonight?"

"Nowhere." He chuckled. "There's storm warnings from four till ten, so we're staying in."

"Why don't we bring everyone here and order room service?" Robin suggested. Barney pondered on the suggestion. In all honesty, a night in alone with Robin and his daughter wouldn't have been something he'd pass up, but he couldn't make that too obvious. He agreed to Robin's plan, and called the others.

* * *

"Can we order pizza?"

"What is it with you and pizza, Marvin?" Lily questioned, absently scanning her eyes over the menu again.

"…Actually, that was me." Marshall clarified, earning laughs from the rest of the group. "…So can we?"

"I guess." Lily sighed, as Marshall cheered. "Everyone good with pizza and fries, then?" She asked. Lily was met by positive responses. While Lily dialed the number for room service, Ted and Marshall watched intently as Barney rapidly set up a poker game on the kitchen table, and Tracy and Robin prepared drinks for everybody. Luke, Penny, Daisy and Marvin were sat in the lounge area, watching a movie on the hotel TV, while Rosie and Ellie were asleep in the master bedroom. As the three women joined their male counterparts at the table, Barney just finished setting up the game.

"So, are we playing poker?" Robin said.

"No." Barney smirked. "I'm beating you at poker." He corrected, a devilish grin playing on his features.

* * *

"Okay, you're cheating." Robin announced, folding her arms as Barney dragged another load of chips towards his chest.

"I wouldn't be cheating if you were winning, Scherbatsky." He countered, stacking the chips into colour coordinated piles.

"It's a statistical impossibility."

"It's a statistical _unlikelihood_, and I am the master, of the possimpible." Barney stated, a decisive finger pointed at Robin. She laughed slightly, as the rest of the group exchanged appreciative glances at the back and forth between the pair. The dynamic of the group was undeniably different when the two of them sat at opposite ends of the room and didn't say a word to each other. Barney was about to deal out the next round, when somebody knocked on the door.

"Room service!" The kids all jumped up as Marshall made for the door. He set the boxes he received down on the counter top and had to fight off Marvin and Luke as they ran up behind him. Chuckling, he handed the boys three pizzas and three portions of fries, before letting them retreat to the pillow haven that they had created in the lounge area. It was then that Rosie emerged from the bedroom and ran straight for the pizza boxes. Barney frowned and stood up, walking silently to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed next to his daughter, ran his fingers through her hair, and softly whispered her name.

"Ellie… Ell… Wake up, baby." He said quietly, as the toddler's eyes opened. "Hey, gorgeous." Barney smiled. Ellie kicked off her blanket and stood up on the bed, walking into her Daddy's arms. He scooped her up placed her on his hip. "You ready for some dinner?" He asked her, realising then that she was massively unlikely to answer him. Instead, she whined and clung to his shirt. "Of course. You don't want dinner, you want cuddles." He muttered, picking up her blanket from the bed. To this, Ellie nodded, earning a light laugh and a kiss on the top of her head from her doting daddy. Barney carried her out to the rest of the group, where, upon spotting the pair, Lily immediately started smiling. She popped another fry into her mouth before holding her arms out to Ellie.

"Hello, beautiful!" She exclaimed. Barney crouched slightly to let Lily take Ellie from him, but the second she did Ellie started to cry and squirm, reaching out for Barney again.

"Not tonight, apparently." He laughed. "She's still tired, sorry, Lil'."

"I'll get her later." Lily laughed, handing Ellie back. Ellie's tears subsided as soon as Barney even had his hands on her. Robin smiled to herself as she watched. There was something mesmerising about a man who could go from dealing – and inevitably winning – a game of poker, to being the one person that a baby wants to be held by in a matter of sixty seconds. She watched him intently and with the utmost admiration as he sat down next to her, with Ellie on his lap. Barney looked up, catching Robin's eye for a split second and double taking as he did. He raised an eyebrow, a self-conscious and yet somehow simultaneously arrogant smirk on his face. _What? _He mouthed. Robin could do nothing but shrug and smile. He narrowed his eyes, the smirk still intact, before plucking two fries from the bag on the table and offering them to Ellie, who refused them excessively. Barney groaned outwardly. This was becoming a nightly struggle for him.

"You've got to eat something, princess."

* * *

Having finally gotten Ellie to eat, and having had Barney win more than a few more games of poker, the gang retreated to their own rooms. Barney and Robin were currently slouched at opposite ends of the sofa, with Robin having kicked her legs up onto the cushions. The pair of them were watching Ellie as she sat in the middle of the floor, flicking through the pages of a book that she definitely couldn't read.

"Baby," Barney started half-heartedly, suppressing a yawn as he checked his watch. It was only by some modern miracle that Barney had caught the fact that both Ellie and Robin had looked up at him. "Come here." He instructed, to which Ellie immediately stood up and waddled over to him, and Robin snapped her head down. Barney rose from his seat, and lifted Ellie into his arms, grabbing a baby bottle full of cold water from the fridge on the way out of the room. Robin kept her eyes fixated on her hands, and waited until Barney had completely gone to even consider removing them. Her cheeks flushed, and she could do little more than sigh and rub her temples. Everything that she had forced herself to forget about this morning had returned to her. Robin shuffled away to the master bedroom, specifically not looking into Ellie's room. However, that didn't stop Barney from noticing Robin walking behind him. Barney frowned to himself as he changed Ellie into a pair of pajamas with multicoloured hearts dotted all over them, and pulled the hair tie out of her blonde curls. He pulled back the bed sheet.

"Okay, time to sleep, gorgeous." He said softly, helping her to lie down. She did so, silently, and then accepted the bottle from Barney. Barney turned the bedroom light off, leaving only the light from the hallway to illuminate the room. He sat with Ellie until she had fallen asleep, and then made his way into his own room, cracking open the door and entering almost silently. Robin looked up at the doorway, giving a weak smile before diverting her attention back to her phone screen. Barney postponed asking her to speak by pulling off his t-shirt and opening a few windows, but when he finally turned off the light and sat down on the bed, there wasn't much left to say.

"You wanna tell me what happened earlier?"

"Nothing happened."

"Robin." He said flatly, readjusting his pillows.

"Nothing happened." She repeated, slightly more bluntly than the first time.

"You were crying when you brought Ellie back this afternoon, so what happened?" She sighed and dropped her phone on to the bed, composing herself before she started to speak.

"Ellie was being unusually quiet, so I took her along the strip and bought her a couple of things but and wanted to walk back, so I let her." Robin stopped for a few seconds as Barney waited patiently. "Half way back she got tired, and stopped in front of me so I could pick her up, I guess, and called me mommy." Barney's expression was wiped, his face a blank slate.

"I'm so sorry, she hasn't been around a female like she's been around you before and with Lil' and Tracy and the girls she's just confused and-"

"No, Barney, I'm not worried about it. She's a sponge at the moment. What else was she going to do when she's seen you asleep next to me every morning and had me spending time with her all of a sudden? I get it."

"Oh," he frowned. "So what's wrong, then?"

"I answered her." She said, practically emotionlessly. Barney was stopped in his tracks all over again.

"I don't know what to say."

"I didn't expect you to. And, that's not all."

"What?"

"I've, uh, been offered a promotion."

"A promotion?" He asked, coaxing an elaboration from her.

"A promotion." She confirmed. "A job hosting the six o'clock news. In New York." Barney sat bolt upright in the bed, as the bedroom door cracked open to reveal Ellie, bottle in hand.

"What's wrong, gorgeous?" Barney asked, hiding the panic in his voice well enough for Ellie not to notice it.

"I want Daddy." Ellie stated, moving towards the bed and extending her arms to Barney, who looked to Robin. Robin nodded, her actions accompanied by a facial expression that, in a word, translated to "obviously". Barney pulled Ellie onto the bed, laying her down between Robin and himself. Ellie settled down onto the pillow, wrapping her hands around two of Barney's fingers. He smiled down at her, before turning back to Robin.

"What are you going to do?" He asked, his voice hushed.

"I don't know. I've been trying to decide all day. I'm this close to flipping a coin." She said, in gest and at the same volume Barney had spoken in. Barney raised his eyebrows, indicating his approval of the idea. He reached over to the bedside cabinet and picked up a 20-cent coin.

"I was kidding."

"Call it, Scherbatsky."

"Heads, I take the job." She stated, without missing a beat. Barney rested the coin on his thumb before flicking it into the air, catching it with no effort whatsoever, even in the dark. He gestured for Robin to hold her hand out, since his other hand was currently being held by a barely conscious two year old. She did so, and Barney slapped the coin onto it. He took her phone from the bed and shielded the coin from Robin's view with his hand, before illuminating the engravings with the backlight from the glass screen.

"What did it land on?"

"What did you want it to land on?"


End file.
